The More Things Change
by Grimblesnark
Summary: It's been a week since Goliath and Elisa admitted their feelings for one another, but far from being a fairytale ending, it only seems to have marked the begining of a new and uneasy tension between them. Elisa is cautious, Goliath is frustrated, and neither of them know quite how to proceed.
1. chapter 1

**The More Things Change**

 **Chapter 1**

Goliath has been watching her closely all night.

And there's no reason for it. At least, not as far as Elisa is concerned at any rate. They are coming to the end of a spectacularly uneventful patrol. There was only one minor scuffle early on in the evening, and even that had been almost disappointingly brief (just a couple of kids trying to break in to a grocery store, too high on meth to even swing a punch with any real conviction, never mind stand up to five hundred-odd pounds of gargoyle-shaped justice). She's not been injured, not been compromised or hurt in any way, and yet he's _watching_ her all the same - all furtive glances and corner-of-the-eye nonsense. If it were anybody else, she would simply ignore it, or else confront it with some suitably scathing rebuke, depending on her mood. But the fact of the matter is that it's _Goliath_ , which turns any kind of communication into a potential minefield. Because it's only been a week since she fell into the frothing waters of the dam, a week since they finally gave voice to the feelings that they held for each other, and its still so very fragile, this tentative new understanding between them. Brittle, like spun glass. She's afraid to put too much pressure on it, in case it breaks and shatters away altogether. And it could. She knows that it could, all too easily.

And so they continue to dance around each other like cautious teenagers.

And still, he stares.

They finish their patrol downtown, on a rooftop flooded with blinking neon and the creeping half-light of the near dawn. This area of the city is usually crawling with lowlifes, but tonight, it is practically deserted. Elisa makes a show of dropping to one knee and peering into the alleyway below. What she wouldn't give to spot some pimp or would-be mugger skulking down there in the shadows, but no, the place is empty, save for a scrawny looking cat that rattles noisily through the overturned trash cans. She sighs and frowns, feeling the familiar coiled tension pulling at the base of her spine. Doesn't need to turn around to know that Goliath is watching her. She can feel the weight of his focus fix upon her, all silent repression and carefully restrained anxiety. And really, enough is enough, because this is starting to get more than a little uncomfortable, and damned if she's going to let it go on for much longer…

"Alright," she snaps, exasperated. "That's it."

She stands up and turns to confront him, hand on hip, expression stern, but is suddenly startled to find that he is standing much, _much_ closer than she had anticipated. She finds herself eye-level with a broad expanse of chest, and boy, the big guy can move quietly when he wants too. He's towering over her now, intruding into her personal space so far that he fills up her field of vision entirely. They're so close that she can feel the heat radiating from his body, smell the warm leather scent of his skin, and its oppressive and thrilling and entirely _too much_ , and she is left with the dizzying, disconcerting impression that the city has somehow disappeared altogether, and there is nothing left but him, and her, and this electrical tension that charges the air between them like static.

She gives a visible start and passes a hand over her eyes. "Christ, Goliath!"

Goliath looks down at her, surprised. He takes a step back, seemingly genuine in his bewilderment as to how he came to be looming over her like this. "Forgive me, Elisa. I was just - "

Elisa cuts him off with a curt wave. "It's okay. It's…fine." She lets out an exhale that she hadn't realised she'd been holding on to. Shakes her head. "What's going on here, Goliath?"

Goliath says nothing, his expression blank.

Elisa scowls. "Don't give me that look. You know exactly what I'm talking about."

He looks as though he would very much like to deny it, but knows that he cannot. Pinned under her gaze, he seems to loose whatever nerve had first given him the courage to draw so close to her. His mouth tightens, opens, closes again with a clench of the jaw. He turns away to face the glowing horizon, clearly frustrated, and Elisa catches the low resonance of a growl reverberating faintly from his chest.

Elisa watches him silently for a moment. Her irritation quickly dissipates, leaving her feeling tired and confused. Just when had everything become so… _complicated_ between them? Despite herself, she almost misses how things were before Jason, before the dam. Misses the easy familiarity that she and Goliath had always shared. Things seemed so much simpler when it was all unspoken. Whatever new evolution that their relationship is taking, it feels shaky and uncomfortable, and she isn't at all certain that she likes it.

Goliath looks lost within himself. She touches his arm lightly, just to ground him. It's an innocent enough gesture - one that she's done a hundred times before - but it seems to have caught Goliath off guard tonight. He glances down at the point of contact, and there's something primal shifting darkly behind his eyes that sends a shiver of knowing anticipation down her spine. She quickly withdraws her hands and balls them into fists in her pockets. Grins nervously. "I guess things are kind of weird between us at the minute, huh?" she says quietly.

That breaks the tension a little. Goliath gives a wry smile and grunts in agreement. Returns his attention to the skyline. "Yes, so it would seem."

She smiles - a little too offhand to be genuine - and gives him an overly platonic jab of her elbow, ignoring the voice in her head that is telling her that this situation is _anything_ but platonic. "No offence, but you drive me crazy when you brood like this."

Another grunt. For all his natural eloquence, Goliath can be surprisingly nonverbal when he wants to be. "It's nothing. I only wished…" he hesitates, clearly struggling to put whatever it is that is troubling him into words. "…that is to say…well, I wanted to tell you…"

He trails into silence then, and god help her, is he fidgeting? Elisa can't help but stare at the sight of a seven foot winged giant looking for all the world like some kid about to ask out a date for junior prom. She wants to laugh, but it somehow doesn't seem funny. Its just yet another reminder of how royally messed up things seem to have become between them.

Then Goliath draws in a long breath, and suddenly says in a rush: "You look very beautiful tonight, Elisa."

That throws her. She blinks. "Oh. Okay." After a further few moments of awkward tension, she then adds doubtfully: "…That's it?"

He turns his gaze towards her. He looks tired and defeated. "That's it."

Elisa doesn't know what to say. She bites her lip, feeling as though she's disappointed him, and maybe herself as well, but really, what else can she do? Because deep down, she already knows - _knows_ \- what he wants to say, probably better than he does himself, in fact…but she's spent so long building walls between them that she honestly doesn't know how to get around them anymore.

Goliath sighs once again. He pulls his eyes away from her with something like regret and then slowly unfurls his wings. "Yes, well…as I said, it was nothing. Perhaps we should call it a night. Same time tomorrow then?"

Elisa watches him as he moves away. She's glad to put some space between them, but her body is weak and treacherous, and she feels his withdrawal as pang somewhere in her chest. But she can't tell him that, of course. So instead, she nods. Smiles. Tries to control the tremor in her voice.

"Yeah. Sure. No problem, big guy."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Matt Bluestone leans casually against the doorframe, a mug of coffee in his hands. He takes a moment to hold his face close to the steam before venturing: "Have you considered just _…_ y'know…" he shrugs. Winces apologetically. "…Doing it?"

Elisa doesn't look up from the controls at the photocopier. There's a smudge of printer ink across her nose, and the already taunt expression on her face is turning steadily darker with each passing minute. _Naturally_ the copier has chosen to crash _now_ , just when there's a ton of paperwork to get through before she can turn in from her shift. Given both her general sleep deprivation and the recent awkwardness with Goliath, what had started out as a mildly irritating technical problem is rapidly promising to tip her over the edge into a full blown temper.

The copier emits a shrill beeping tone. Elisa hisses in frustration and hits the reset button with more force than is strictly necessary. "Do what?"

Matt quirks his mouth in sympathetic amusement. "Jeez, Maza, I know it's been a while, but you do remember what sex is, right?"

Elisa shoots him a look that would wither the balls of lesser men. Matt's no coward, but he's sensible enough to duck his head and pretend to take a sudden interest in the contents of his mug nonetheless. She glares at him like that for a few seconds further, then huffs, shakes her head, and ostensibly returns her attention to the copier. "See, _this_ is why I don't come to you for advice more often, Matt," she mutters, tersely. "Because you suck at it."

Matt hazards a glance at her from over the rim of his mug, and if he notices the blush that has crept into her cheeks, then he at least knows better than to bring it up. He takes a grateful sip of coffee before continuing: "Look, all I'm saying it that it'll break the tension. It's kind of hard to feel self-conscious around someone after you've shared body fluids, right?"

Elisa thinks that she would like to disagree - she's had enough experience with post-coital awkwardness in her time to know that sex generally exacerbates weirdness rather than resolves it - but even privately, it doesn't feel right to start bringing up the ghosts of boyfriends past when discussing her situation with Goliath. Instead, she lifts her chin and schools her expression into something approaching indifference. "Goliath and I have had exactly one kiss," she reminds him pointedly. "I don't think we're ready to jump into bed just yet."

"Well you might not be, but Goliath…"

"…Is old-fashioned. Like, dark-ages old-fashioned. He takes things like that seriously." She pauses to reload the paper in the copy tray, meeting Matt's gaze with a steady self-assurance that she wishes she actually felt. "Trust me, he doesn't want to rush things anymore than I do."

Matt is sceptical. He's seen enough of the two of them together to suspect that Goliath's feelings moved on from chaste admiration to unambiguous sexual interest quite some time ago, but clearly, that isn't what his partner wants to hear right now. He sets his coffee mug down on a nearby desk and moves around to examine the photocopier controls. Starts pressing buttons. "Okay, sure, whatever you say. But just one kiss? Elisa, it's been over a week. You need to start moving things along."

Elisa sighs and lowers her eyes. "I want to," she says quietly, and there's something so honest in her voice at that moment that it catches him by surprise. "Really, I do. But every time I'm around him I just…I don't know, _freeze_." She frowns again, but this time, it's not directed at him - her focus is turned inward, examining some interior aspect to her character that she has discovered and finds that she does not like. "I don't know why I do that," she admits finally after a pause.

Matt goes very still beside her. After a moment's hesitation, Elisa turns to meet his gaze, and finds that he's smiling tiredly down at her. There's a faint suggestion of stubble across his lower jaw, and his tie is stained and sloppily knotted. He looks worn-out, and somehow older, and Elisa wonders just how much the events of the past few weeks have impacted him too.

"Because you like him," he says. And God, it all sounds so simple when he puts it like that.

Elisa nods, and has to swallow once around the sudden tightening in her throat. She appreciates the fact that Matt doesn't use the _other_ L word…the one that she and Goliath have been dancing around ever since the night at the dam, and maybe some time before then as well. Because she really _does_ love Goliath - loves him in a burning, soul-deep way that scares her to her very core - but she doesn't think that she could cope with naming those feelings and making them real. Not yet, anyway.

"Yeah," she admits, and her voice is little more than a whisper now. "But…he's my best friend, Matt. No, he's more than that…I can't even put it into words. And if this doesn't work out and I loose him…"

She trails into silence, unable to finish. All of her fears and apprehensions come rushing at her like a tide, and for a dizzying moment, she can hardly breath for fear of it. But then she feels the weight of Matt's hand fall gently upon her shoulder, and it's enough to pull her back into herself.

"Have you tried talking to him about how you feel?" Matt asks, keeping his voice low, steady.

"No."

"Well," Matt fixes her with a level look. "Don't you think you should?"

At that moment, the photocopier unexpectedly whirrs into life again with a shuddering clamour. Elisa covers his hand gratefully with her own and squeezes, but then quickly pulls away. Puts up the shutters once again and tries to refocus on her work.

"Yes. No. I don't know…it's complicated."

Matt watches her closely as she busies herself with starting to feed reports into the copier. Trying to get Elisa to open up about her feelings reminds him of trying to befriend the neighbourhood strays as a kid. You couldn't make any quick movements that might scare them away. Couldn't approach them too loudly, or demand too much from them. You just had to be quiet and persistent, and give them enough space to draw away when they got too skittish. He can see that Elisa is wanting to retreat back to the safety of her own fortifications now. Knows that it's wisest to let her go, and yet…

"But if you're not going to talk," he says slowly, "And you're not going to screw, then what's the point in even being together?"

And Elisa doesn't say anything to that one...because, God help her, she doesn't know the answer herself.


End file.
